I am a comic that thinks outside the box.. after everything is gone from inside it. I was born without that filter that keeps certain thoughts inside, and most times, it pops out at the worst moments.. its going to happen, so best be prepared for whatever is about to come out.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Bras are getting out of hand

I think Bras are getting out of hand, or maybe is it just me.

I am not saying we should get rid of them as a whole, ok, I am just saying that its getting a little carried away with itself. Half the time you take a girls bra off, 2 inches of her boobs just went with it, like What the hell!!`
I can`t get away with doing that, I can walk in here with a 10 inch weiner down my pants.
Girls would be like `Holy crap, look at the crotch on that guy!`
Then you take me home, I pull it out, and throw it behind me.
Oh that, that's just for support. If I don't wear a 10 inch weiner down my pants, my back kills me the next day.

I really don't care about big boobs, ok, its an honesty issue. Its why I like ass.. cause ass is honest.
Cause what you see is what your going to get. At least up until recently. Cause now they have panties with ass inserts, so now you can fake an ass!
And that should be illegal!
And I will tell you this now.. I don't care how hot, and sexy you are, or how close I am to fucking you I am getting... If I pull your ass off,.. I am tapping out!!

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Staying in a hotel

I was in Kingston performing a few weeks ago, and when I was done the late show, got back to the hotel, and got into bed, it was a little after 2am... I had set up the wake up call for 10, which gave me an hour or so to get up and get out.

I woke up at approx 7:26am... and I say approx because I am not sure how close to the real time the clocks are in a hotel room. It was not the wake up call I had requested from the front desk.. It was to the banging on the wall behind my head.

You see.. I woke up to the sound of two people having sex. I am not going to go into details, ok,.. but I will say, that they were very, very good. I turned on my tv to try and distract myself from what was going on behind me... but it was soo good, that I tried to listen for pointers.

When they were done, I thought I might have been pregnant.... yeah, it was off the chain, and I think there was a bit of Bible study going on, as there was alot of talking to God.

Now the awkward part happened when I was leaving my room. See it was an old style hotel,.. where you still had a REAL key.. so I am in the process of locking my door as I am leaving, and the couple came out at the same time that was having the porn rehearsal behind my head.

The only difference between my leaving my room, and them leaving theirs?? Is that there was only ONE man leaving my room.. and there was two leaving theirs.. no women..

How weird did I feel knowing I "rubbed one out" thinking of this hot couple going at it, then realizing it was not at all what I thought in my mind.
Maybe I share too much with you guys on here!!

My Peeps....