Stand up comedy, in the form of a blog... if you want to laugh, then keep on reading.

I am a comic that thinks outside the box.. after everything is gone from inside it. I was born without that filter that keeps certain thoughts inside, and most times, it pops out at the worst moments.. its going to happen, so best be prepared for whatever is about to come out.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

How do some things actually make it into stores?

Sitting around wonding how things actually get thru the cracks,.. and how do they actually go from dream to reality...

There are tons of great things that have come from nothing, just watch any "as seen on TV" product.. sell by the millions.

I have always wondered though,... How did the Blowup doll actually get pitched? How did this meeting take place?

I can see a bunch of people sitting in an office like "Shark Tank" or Dragons Den and this guy comes in,.. "So Mr. Smith.. tell us your idea"

"Ok... So I am a great outdoors kind of guy... and like anyone I have trouble meeting the right person.. and then one day on a white water rafting trip it came to me... I created this!! Its a Raft with Arms... and you Fuck It!! I call it.... Samantha!!"

"Two words for you Mr. Smith... CORNER OFFICE!!"
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That guy that picked on you when you were in Elementry school

I am a big guy now, but in elementary school I was actually very small, I was one of the smallest kids in school. And there was one kid in particular that used to pick on me, and beat me up, and call me names, and made my life a living hell.

But then in High School, I got bigger and stronger cause I hit my growth spurt..


and he got leukemia...


So I win!!
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Bodies

Mines getting too fat, independently of myself, it does what it wants. And it makes getting dressed a challenge,... my pants are so tight now, my farts are getting louder... I own one suit, not even a good one,.. its a George Foreman.. and I only own a suit cause it came with my grill.

People actually come up to me in the grocery store and ask me where the junk food is. Seriously.. "Hey man, where are the Joe Louis?"

"Doesn't matter man.. I have them all!"

One of my friends is always trying to help me loose weight by asking me stupid questions.. "Hey Brad, loosing weight is not hard, you just have to watch what you eat.. like what did you have for breakfast this morning.?"
"Cereal."
"Nice, how many bowls did you have?"
"I don't know, how many come in a box?"
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