I have learned this, to date a woman in this market, you need to contact your cell phone provider and sign up for a text messaging plan.
Holy Shit! Its a phone! Its a phone, ok... ladies, you want to talk to me, guess what, there is a button on your phone, says fucking talk, you press the button that says the shit that you want to do.
I am not anti-txt messaging ok, however, my name is also not Ron Textall either. Me and my buddies text message each other all the time.
The difference is, that its a message... its one line.... and it needs no answer.
"Hey, meet me here."
or "Hey, I am running late."
or "Hey, that chick your talking to is fucking nasty, shut it down and lets go."
And don't look at me like that cause girls do it too. You do.. be honest.
It doesn't matter what sex you are, if you have ever been hitting on someone and the shit was going well,...
then all of a sudden looked at their phone.......
then looked at you.....
and walked away....
Yeah, someone just reached out and cock blocked you.
it should not be used to carry on a conversation, and I will tell you why.
I went out with my buddies and my girlfriend at the time went out with hers. The plan was to meet back at the house whenever things wrapped up, no time set. Well, somewhere in there, my girlfriend got a little drunk, happened to you?
It happened to me.
And she decided to drunk text me.. you ladies know what that is all about don't you.
I got a message from her that said "Whats up? Where are you? I want to fuck you!"
I wrote back "Were out. See you at the house later."
Again, ladies,.. its a message. its supposed to be quick, like fast food,... in and out.
Then I got another one from her, that read "No, tell me something you want to do to me,.. I am horny!"
All I could think to myself is "this is not going to end well." You ladies like keeping these messages and bring them up later with your friends.
So I wrote back "I want to have sex with you."
I get back, "Tell me something hot!"
So I cave, cause I am fucking whooped! and I write back "I want to lick your pussy."
But my phone has this T9 word.. where the phone THINKS it knows what you are trying to say and puts it in for you.
So what she read was "I want to kick your puppy."
That's a great story at parties let me tell you!
I am a comic that thinks outside the box.. after everything is gone from inside it. I was born without that filter that keeps certain thoughts inside, and most times, it pops out at the worst moments.. its going to happen, so best be prepared for whatever is about to come out.
