Don't ever move from one city to another, cause things happen you don't think about, like having to find a new doctor.
We moved from Ottawa to Toronto not too long ago, and I needed to refill a prescription. We found a doctor taking new patients, and made an appointment to go in and see him. So he did some minor tests, just to compare from the last time I was into a doctors office. He sent off for my chart history from my old doctor, and then did some comparisons.
Right out of the box,.. he said "Bradley,.. I am concerned about your cholesterol."
"Really? Why is that?"
"Well, it was high last year,.. and now here it is a year later, and it has only gotten worse."
"Oh, yeah,.. I figured that."
"Really? How come"
"Cause, I have not really done anything different."
That's when I realized that its the only time as an adult that you feel like a little kid again. The Doctor looking down at you and you looking up at him
"You did not do what I told you did you?"
"No,.. no I didn't."
"What should you have done?"
"I should have listened to what you told me to do."
"What are you going to do from now on?"
"I am going to listen to what you tell me to do."
"When are you going to start doing that?"
"Immediately."
I told him that I needed my prescription filled for my pariot cause I get heartburn.
This guy, that went to school for ALOT more years than me, goes and gets me a list of things that cause heartburn.
I am looking at the list thinking,... "I already know this........"
So I told him, " I know how to GET it."
That's like going to the hospital with a post up your ass and they show you a list of how to get a post up your ass.. and all you can do is look at the doctors saying "I already HAVE the post up my ass,... I just need to get it REMOVED!!"
Rule #1. Do not fall directly onto a post.
So my doctor looks at me and while glancing at the chart goes "You should probably drop a few pounds Brad."
What do you say to that?? "Thank you. Thanks for the confidence boost."
Go in for help, leave with the insults.
Which leads me to another point.
Just call someone what they are,.. if they are fat, say "Your fat". Don't try to soften it up for me.
My grandparents used to call me husky. "He's Husky. Big for his age."
No,.. I am fat. Husky is a DOG.
Don't call me Big Boned, heavy, husky, plump, cuddly, or soft. I am fat. I know this. You should know this. So don't get offended if your fat and I describe you as that... Fact is fact, and fat is fat.
I am a comic that thinks outside the box.. after everything is gone from inside it. I was born without that filter that keeps certain thoughts inside, and most times, it pops out at the worst moments.. its going to happen, so best be prepared for whatever is about to come out.
