I never knew how full my life would be when it came to kids... not full of love,...no... FULL OF QUESTIONS!!
I have learned more about myself then I ever truly thought I knew.
Case in point,.. I did not know my fourth favorite fruit was pineapple. I know it now, after a question period with my neice.
"Brad, whats your favorite fruit?
An apple.
"whats your second favorite fruit?"
ummm a Banana.
Whats your third favorite fruit?"
I am not sure Deanna.. an Orange I guess.
I know what its like to have to stand infront of tons of reporters, cause if you hang out with 5 year old, its all you get.
Um yes, Olivia?
"Why does my puppy dog stick to the fridge?"
Great question, its because your doggy has a maginet on the back of it and the maginet sticks to metal, and the fridge is made of metal so it sticks to the fridge.
Next question, Ian.
"Whats your favorite colour"
Well my favorite colour is Red, followed by blue, yellow, green, brown and orange.
"How did you know I was going to ask you about those other colours?"
Cause your 6 and its what you do, Next question, Olivia? Its because your dog has a maginet on the back of it.
Next question, Ian?
"Why are Olivias Ken Dolls brown?"
Its because she is chubby and we think she should get used to it.
Next Question Olivia?
Its because there is a fucking maginet on the back of it!!
I mean its not like I dont love my child, cause I have loved them from day one. It does not mean I have liked them every single minute of every day, and if you have with your children, your dillusional and need theropy.
Cause your not supposted to have the same likes and dislikes as your kids, cause your an adult, and they are children.
"Hey daddy wanna play Legos?"
Absolutely not.
"How come?
Cause I like sex and other fun stuff, thats why. Putting little plastic blocks together just is not any fun for me anymore.
I tell you what, you stay here and play with your legos, daddy is going to go get a piece.
I am a comic that thinks outside the box.. after everything is gone from inside it. I was born without that filter that keeps certain thoughts inside, and most times, it pops out at the worst moments.. its going to happen, so best be prepared for whatever is about to come out.
