So I was at the mall recently, and I saw this guy that was sitting coming left to right. I thought he was in a wheelchair right, and I felt a little bad for him, cause my grandfather is in a wheelchair. But then I looked at him... and he wasn't one of these "handy capable" people... he was just a morbidly obese people that feels like riding around in a scooter cause he is just that lazy!!
I don't know, maybe he has a glandular problem that only lets him eat MacDonald's in packs of combo meals.
So here is what happened.. As I was almost at the escalator, maybe a few paces from it, and I figured I would just let Mr. Lazy Bones pass me first, be polite.. and that's when this fucker just cut me off, and makes a wicked turn to get on the escalator.
There are signs that say "No Scooters Allowed". But the problem was now he is just blocking me from the escalator cause the turn was too tight, and the scooters turning radius sucks, and he didn't make it.. so now I am thinking "That's right tubby, just beep beep beep yourself out of the way, and let those that can still walk use the electric stairs". Maybe you should find the freight elevator since those doors are probably bigger and you can pull donuts in the center of it like a handy capped NASCAR event.
BUT NO FOLKS... THIS IS NOT A TRAGEDY!!! THIS IS A TALE OF HEROICS!!
Cause this man stood up, out of his scooter, so I am thinking "Ok, you can walk, cool."
AND HE LIFTED IT UP, GOT ON THE ESCALATOR, CARRIED THIS CONTRAPTION TO THE TOP, PUT IT ON THE GROUND AND SPED OFF TO THE FOOD COURT!!
I just hope this guy dies from a Blue Cheese overdose!
I am a comic that thinks outside the box.. after everything is gone from inside it. I was born without that filter that keeps certain thoughts inside, and most times, it pops out at the worst moments.. its going to happen, so best be prepared for whatever is about to come out.
