I am a comic that thinks outside the box.. after everything is gone from inside it. I was born without that filter that keeps certain thoughts inside, and most times, it pops out at the worst moments.. its going to happen, so best be prepared for whatever is about to come out.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Sexual Fantasies

Ever have a conversation that you have an idea on how its going to go, then all of a sudden, you realize, before I speak, I need to ask some questions.

This happened to me a while ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday. I was sitting on the couch with my girlfriend, and she turned to me and said "Hey, why don't you tell me one of your sexual fantasies?"

Its a good thing that we talked about this cause we could not of been further apart from one another. I was thinking that hers was going to involve a specific place, time of year, maybe some romance and feelings, probably some candles or potpourri. Ok shut it, I read Cosmo!

Mine are all about positions. I think I played this out pretty well. I got her to go first so I could see what I was dealing with.

She said "I want to be in Rome on the first day of spring, listening to the church bells going off at sunset.. blah blah blah blah blah" I kind of trailed off but you get the picture.

Then she said "ok, its your turn.. tell me one about me."

Ok, great, if you will just look at my diagram that I have illustrated poorly with stick figures.... You take your right leg.... and put it out to your side, have your other leg at a 25 degree tilt...... so that there is no problem when we start with the whip cream and pudding. Stop talking and pay attention!! This is important, this is why we need your friend Erica!

My Peeps....