My only advice for women

If I had any advice that I can give women, it is this: Your beautiful, stop telling us that your not.

I wanted to do something nice for my girlfriend so I decided to take her shopping, right, I figured "That seems like a chick-magnet thing to do, let's take her shopping."

Know what she did? She called herself horrible things All Day!

We're shopping and all I hear from her is "I'm Fat! This shirt makes me look bloated! I'm Fat! My feet have kankles! Looks like I have two chicken cutlets right here! I'm fat! My ass is huge! "

Its like she is trying to brain wash me, not only do I have to listen to this shit, but now I am thinking "Man, I have a fat girlfriend"

And don't get me wrong, my girlfriend is not fat, ok.....but when you hear that 94 times in a minute you start thinking "Jesus would someone tell this fat bitch to shut up! Hey, don't cry,... you look fat when you cry."

You ladies are beautiful, don't let us in on that, ok.... cause all we see is your Bah-wa-wa-wa (ass) and Bah-wa-wa-wa (Boobs). I mean,... my girlfriend and I have been together for like a year, and I did not even know she HAD a face, you know.