I phoned a buddy of mine (we will call him Irvin) and had to leave a message cause he was out of the office. Turns out he puts out a new voicemail message everyday. Changes it, to reflect what he is doing each day.
When did this get complicated,.. what happened to "Not in, leave a message"?
Instead, I get this three hour dissertation on what his day is like, and when he might be able to call me back.
"Hello, you have reached Irvin. Today is October 31st, 2008. Happy Halloween. I am in the office today from 8am to 4pm, I am leaving early to get home and be ready for all the kids that go trick or treating. I will be in a meeting today from 10am to 11am, and then will be out of the office from 12-1pm. I have two scheduled interviews from 2-330pm, if this call is urgent please cal l me on my cell at..."
When did you get a cell phone? Why the FUCK did you not say that in the beginning?!? I don't care what the details of your day are, let me leave a message and call me back. That is the way its been working for decades.
So he tells me later, "Brad, I am giving people information that they either knew about, forgot, and should be reminded of. OR they never knew to begin with."
OK, fine. I am going to start leaving him messages with that same concept in mind.
"Irvin, hey its Brad,.. Basenji's are the only breed of dog that cannot bark. Just letting you know.
If you see an emergency vehicle travelling with its lights on, you should pull over. The deepest lake in the world is lake Baikal, and my mom has a gold fish named 'Fin'. What? That's random, why did I say that? Oh yeah, your a tool,.. call me back."
I am a comic that thinks outside the box.. after everything is gone from inside it. I was born without that filter that keeps certain thoughts inside, and most times, it pops out at the worst moments.. its going to happen, so best be prepared for whatever is about to come out.
