I am a comic that thinks outside the box.. after everything is gone from inside it. I was born without that filter that keeps certain thoughts inside, and most times, it pops out at the worst moments.. its going to happen, so best be prepared for whatever is about to come out.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Groups of Women at the bar...

I watch people when I go out.. more so groups of people than just a random single person.. cause that's called stalking.. and illegal in most areas.

I tend to watch groups, and one thing I have learned about watching groups is this... women.. if your out with your friends,.. be it a bar, Starbucks, the movies.. where ever.. there is one of you in the group that is a cock blocker.

Think about your group of friends.. some of you know of her right off the bat!! "Oh its that fucking Samantha!! That cock blocking bitch! If she's not getting laid NO ONE IS GATTING LAID!!!"

And if you think of your group of friends, and are thinking "hmmmm... you know what, there isn't one in my group! You don't know what your talking about!!"

Guess what..... Its YOU!!

I know what my job is when I go out with my friends.. I play the part of a wing man!! And god damnit, I am a good one.. I will do what I have to do, especially if that chick my buddy is trying to pick up happens to be a 9+ on the "woman" scale!! Right fellas?

I will give him the keys to my car,.. pick up the tab if he is short on cash, talk him up to help him seal the deal.. What ever it takes!! ,,,, maybe jump on the "ugly" grenade..

Don't boo me!! Fuck you,..I know my roll... and most of the time.. I can see hers!! ok.

Lets face it though.. some times.. there are some grenades you just cant jump on. You can look at it and all you can think is ... "Shit, sorry man,.. we are not all going to make it out of here alive!"

You know the one I am talking about right.. Your hitting it off well with someone at a bar, and your this close to getting her out of there and on your way to anywhere to do what ever. Then this chicky just drops from the sky like a phantom "Whoosh!"

"Jennifer,.. whats going on here.. what are you doing... what.. no... no, you came here with us, your leaving with us.. ok.. here, lets go to the bathroom and talk...."
Your standing there like "Who the hell are you?"
"Who am I? I am the cock blocker ok, you just mind your own business!

You know the one I mean, has both eyes on the same side of her head... walks with a limp cause she has gout with a club foot.. and not the dance club kind!! I am just saying,... she looks like an overgrown gremlin... "Why is she ordering water... if she spills it on herself, more will pop out of her back!!"

My Peeps....